The True Story of How My Worst Fear Came True
Posted on January 7, 2010
67 Responses to “The True Story of How My Worst Fear Came True”
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Jan 07, 2010
What an awesome story. That sales coach was horrid … I think we all had people like this in our lives (I remember the client who told me that I was a cold person and didn’t care about people) who tell us our worst nightmare. But the difference is we actually turned that around and now can use it as a great story.
BTW, you being young actually intimidated me, like I’m somehow behind you because you are a bit younger than me but have a great business already. LOL!!
Elizabeth Potts Weinstein´s last blog ..Why I’m Not Setting Goals or Picking Words for 2010
Jan 07, 2010
Total insanity. I really think we need to create a Rowdy Roeder video and send it to that coach
We’ll get your voice as high pitched as we possibly CAN. Awesome lesson and awesome vid. Keep m’ coming!
Marie´s last blog ..3 Ways To Really Start The New Year Off Right
Jan 07, 2010
It’s sad but true that women in sales and corporate jobs are always being told to lower their voices. It’s that old (and thankfully becoming more outdated) idea that women need to act more like men if they want to compete in business. I expect it’s still there in the corporate environment but elsewhere it’s not such a problem anymore.
You have a great personality and your pro speaker status proves that you are easy to listen to. I’m glad you didn’t let that coach knock your confidence and stop you doing what you are clearly good at.
Thanks for sharing that story.
Lisa
Lisa Hartwell´s last blog ..Winter Warmer Sale
Jan 08, 2010
Interesting Lisa, I had no idea that this used to be a common thing. How sad! Thanks for your comment.
Jan 07, 2010
Wow that is insane. But also good to realize that you survived, and that actually you can be great without listening to your fears / bogus people’s advice.
Honestly, your youngness is an asset – at least in my opinion. I mean you understand the young crowd and you’ve got energy. Why would that be a bad thing?
Nathalie Lussier´s last blog ..What Are Chia Seeds?
Jan 07, 2010
Perfect example of: “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.”
Thanks for the reminder.
Keep kicking tail, Laura!
Jan 07, 2010
I genuinely appreciate the courage it took to make this video, Laura. The funny thing is that I admire your work MORE because of your age. I’m sure that it would have been fairly easy for you to get a corporate job, which would have made everyone around you feel comfortable, but left you demoralized and uninspired. The fact that you chose to take control of your own destiny speaks volumes about who you are and your sense of personal authenticity.
I went to graduate school when I was in my 40′s. I was generally 20 years older than everyone, closer to the age of the teacher, rather than the students. The 20-somethings always seemed to feel uncomfortable about their lack of work experience. Meanwhile, I would be thinking: These people are brilliant! I really admire them because I was a mess when I was in my 20′s and never could have gone to graduate school.
Now, in my 50′s I choose not to let my age be a limiting factor in what I do. Youth is a spirit of self-expression not an automatic dictation of intelligence, wisdom, responsibility and competency. My last boss was 30. He was one of the best leaders and most brilliant entrepreneurs for whom I’ve ever worked.
I’ve pointed others toward you many times as an example of someone to emulate. My feeling is: Be like Laura Roeder. Funny thing is, that I have no idea how I heard about you and we’ve never met. But what I do know is that you make a difference doing what you’re doing and I admire that!
Jan 08, 2010
Thank you so much Maryellen! Especially as women, it seems we always think we’re too young or too old when really we’re all juuuuust right!
Jan 07, 2010
Laura! your lower voice is freaky and awesome at the same time – but i think you should stick with the one you have – haha… also what is the “truth” to one person, is not to someone else do you know what i mean? Just because one person finds me annoying doesn’t mean that all people do… but you know that. Thanks for the great story Laura! Keep kicking ass in 2010…
John Lepp´s last blog ..What did you fail at today?
Jan 08, 2010
Thanks John, and thanks for confirming that the lower voice is (obviously) NOT the way to go, haha!
Jan 07, 2010
Love this post, so awesome of you to share your transparency (and yes at such a “young” age.)
I actually learned about you and become a reader because of Clay from Project Mojave of which I’m a member. You struck me then as someone who had their act together. Age is nothing but a number. Keep sharing your story Laura!
Tony Teegarden´s last blog ..5 Steps to Performing Your Philosophy
Jan 07, 2010
Hey Laura,
As possibly the eldest person on this thread, may I be the first to welcome you to the ranks of Brazen Breasted Business Hussies who say what is true, feel what they feel with no apologies and serve others by persevering through the fear, “doing it anyway” and teaching invaluable lessons along the way.
You rock!
The “coach” you interfaced with (and I put quotes around the word because I don’t think this person deserves the title) was an IDIOT. Anyone who would tell you to modify your body in ANY way to be more attractive to your customers is an idiot to be avoided. Run, don’t walk away from idiots like this. Unfortunately, folks like this are present at every event.
When asking for advice like this, keep in mind YOU ARE PERFECT AS YOU ARE.
PERIOD.
You were given the unique set of gifts and immense talents you have to appeal to a particular person and niche. To those people, your voice drips with honey and flows like melted chocolate. Your offerings are golden treasure-boxes bejewelled with diamonds.
You don’t have a goddamned thing to apologize for, and your perfect clients are LUCKY, beyond their wildest dreams, to have you in their lives.
PERIOD.
My voice was high pitched like yours when I was young. Labelled a squeaker (with an unfortunate sibilant “S”), I got similar advice and artificially pitched my voice lower to the point where it actually screwed up my vocal cords and I barely escaped surgery. Barely. For years, I had to do vocal exercises daily to keep my voice in my own normal register, and today it remains much lower than it might have been. Now I get occasional comments about how ‘deep’ my voice is for a woman. Geez. My voice is FINE FOR MY MARKET, thank you very much.
So is yours. Squeak on sister, squeak on.
I personally find your voice perfectly CHARMING. Your youth is an ADVANTAGE. I turn 50 in April and though I’d never inject myself with toxins, am beginning to understand why women do Botox. Enjoy the firm skin, attractive hair color and lovely voice you were given, the years of wisdom and living you’ve got to offer and unique perspective ONLY you have.
They are gifts. As are you.
Thank you for reinforcing that and keep the videos coming. They are inspiring in corners of the world you would be amazed at. I got the link to this from a correspondent in a tiny town in southern Korea. You’re giving her hope and firming her resolve. And she’s sharing your site with others in Hong Kong, Egypt and Iceland. (gotta love the ‘net)
Well done, girlfriend, well done.
Maryam Webster´s last blog ..New Year’s Eve on the San Francisco Peninsula
Jan 08, 2010
Maryam – wow. I’m blown away. Thank you for everything you wrote, I read it over and over again and will keep coming back to it. Thanks for the welcome to the Brazen Breasted Business Hussies, I’m PROUD to be a member!
Jan 07, 2010
As a voice and acting teacher (as well as a photographer), your voice is NOT high piched!! And you wouldn’t want to try and deepen it–you could start all sorts of bad vocal problems from that! Love your site, and all your help! Keep it up!
Jan 07, 2010
People trust people who are good at what they do. Case in point, your success. Good job, Laura. Don’t look back.
Jan 07, 2010
Laura, you are an inspiration and at such a ‘young age’! I think this so called coach took one look at a bright eager and young woman and the green eyed monster reared it’s ugly head and she just had to try and feel superior to you. It says much more about her failings than it does yours.
Glad you were able to look deeper and have the strength of your own convictions to ignore her ‘advice’ – you are successful because you are young, bright, attractive to watch and fun to listen to.
Keep doing what you are doing – you have many fans!
Jan 07, 2010
By the way Laura I forgot to say being English I find your accent really good to listen to!
Maria´s last blog ..New Year, New Decade, Time to review
Jan 07, 2010
Laura, that coach was foolish and short sighted. Your youth is not an issue – in fact, I’d rather listen to someone who is young and has their finger on the pulse instead of some crusty “traditional” business person who is following an outdated model. I’ve learned a ton from you – you rock!
Jan 07, 2010
Laura, those people be peanut butter and jealous!
It sucks to have a saggy neck and be less accomplished than a 20-something.
I would buy from you with your natural voice, maybe even with your tranny-in-the-mirror voice. Your stuff is that good.
Laura Belgray´s last blog ..Kid, you’ve got it easy.
Jan 08, 2010
You crack me up!!! I’m going to call you sometime and surprise you with my tranny-in-the-mirror voice.
Jan 07, 2010
Omg – I was JUST talking about you yesterday. I was saying that you are a genius and how I remember so vividly the day I met you. You lit up like a Christmas tree sitting across the table from me at a networking event. What made you stand out to me was your brilliance. I remember thinking – wow! This gal is intelligent, honest, articulate, driven, determined and fearless!
Just goes to show ya how different people see things differently.
Keep being YOU because you rock!
PS – There is nothing wrong with your voice or anything else about you.
Jan 08, 2010
You are so sweet Adrienne, thank you so much your comment made my day.
Jan 07, 2010
Love the vid! I have a friend that saw your picture and said “she looks like she is in High School” And I said, “yes, but she knows what she’s doing and I feel really good about learning from her.”
Sad to hear she was so mean.
But glad you went on and thanks for all the help.
Jan 07, 2010
Good video, yeah who cares what other people have to say. So you’re not the norm, but you’re not giving up, that’s the important thing. Really like the site.
Greg London´s last blog ..Free and Powerful takes 3 steps to a $50.00 sign up bonus
Jan 07, 2010
Popping by to say hi after watching your video. Your inclusion over on the problogger site pointed me this way.
No words of wisdom to add that hasn’t been said, other than an observation your eyes seem to dash to the top right a lot, as if you’re thinking back. Maybe look into the camera more?
Ari Herzog´s last blog ..Showcase Sunday: The Google on Video Edition
Jan 08, 2010
Hi, Laura
Thanks for sharing your story. People like you (young, vibrant, professional, successful….) amaze me and, yes, I am a bit envious that you have achieved what you have at such a young age. You just didn’t see many young people starting their own thriving businesses when I was your age. The internet has changed all of that in my opinion. I’m 38 now and just getting started, but you and a couple of other young women are my inspiration. So, keep it up. I wonder if that coach has any inkling of what you’ve become since you had your session with her…lol
I had a friend in Atlanta, GA who was in her 40′s, petite, blond, cute (pixish looks), with a very Minnie Mouse like voice (with lots of southern twang) to go along with it. She was an account manager for UPS and was one of the most with-it women I knew, but said she had a really hard time getting clients and collegues to take her seriously because of the way she looked and sounded. And she wasn’t even that young. I guess you just have to get past all of that and let what’s on the inside shine through until people get that you really are a force to be reckoned with.
Thanks again for sharing
Jan 08, 2010
I’m really impressed that you were not only able to recover from such a blow, but have built your business delivery on your voice and youth via your videos. How did you not only get past that block but run with it? I have yet to get up the nerve to do a video blog!
btw, I’m sure that coach was just totally jealous!:)
Thanks for being yourself!
Tisha
Tisha Morris´s last blog ..Being Happy: How Not to Love Stuff
Jan 08, 2010
Tisha – I guess what I didn’t make clear in the video is that experience allowed me to let go of my fears in that area. Once my fears had been confirmed I was able to see how they didn’t really matter or affect me at all. So this terrible woman really ended up giving me the confidence to record video and audio.
Jan 08, 2010
Laura –
I have to second Elizabeth PW on this one, your age makes you even more amazing for what you’ve done!
Even though I (and many of your loyal community) am older than you, I really look up to you and what you’ve done——you are an inspiration, girl!
Thanks for being fearless enough to always share your story with us!
Cheers!
@portacreative (formerly @apwcreative)
Jan 08, 2010
Laura, that was a hilarious and poignant video. I love your site and your blog BECAUSE you’re so down to earth, voice and all. I had a friend in college you sound exactly like. I frankly find your success at such a young age intimidating. I’m 33, and starting a new career after 10 years in journalism, and know for a fact that if I were 22,23 etc. launching a business, I would have never made it. You’re very wise for your age.
And yeah, obviously that coach was nuts!
Patrick Garmoe
Patick Garmoe´s last blog ..KVSS: Keep Video Short Stupid
Jan 08, 2010
Nice video Laura. Even better on pointing out that the worst fear and worst case scenario are usually pretty harmless, so just go ahead in the face of those fears.
The true worst case scenario is when we back down from the fear and don’t do what we know we want to. Sadly most of us allow this to happen to ourselves.
Keep rocking Laura! Your newsletter is about the only one that survived the new year purge and the first thing I get in the inbox proved to me it was a good idea to stay connected.
Jan 08, 2010
Laura: I was so impressed with you at RHH Live in Oct. that I promptly came home and became a “customer.” And I’m pretty picky about who and what I spend my money on! You are articulate, smart, and sassy! You make it easy and fun to learn from you, and that is a gift that you can’t learn – you either have it, or you don’t, and girlfriend, you absolutely have it!
That person was no “coach,” and I’m so happy that you were strong enough not to listen to her crap because now the rest of us are able to benefit from what you share. Keep being you and all will be good!
Hugs, Lori
Jan 08, 2010
Wow, I can’t believe that is all that woman could think to say to you. Personally I’ve never thought anything about your age, voice, etc. I just look at your content on your site, videos, etc, and go from there. Also, like a couple people said above, if I ever think about your age it’s only to beat myself up for being older than you and yet behind in my own business. LOL.
So glad that you didn’t let what that person said knock you down. I think we should all take that as a good lesson.
-Moki
Jan 08, 2010
Real estate is one of the fields where I work with a lot of clients. If you saw some of the sales training materials prevalent in that industry, you would laugh your *ss off! Seriously, these old school, narrow-minded, completely ridiculous ideas. I’ve seen the franchise training manuals. Some haven’t been updated in what looks like 50 years
Sorry you had to go through that Laura. It’s a good experience all said and done though. You’ve learned your age doesn’t matter a bit, and that’s a good thing. You should call that “sales trainer” up and thank her!
Christian Russell´s last blog ..Why Simple Blogs are Better for Business
Jan 08, 2010
Before I started my business, my former manager told me the EXACT same thing! And it made me equally angry and I would always resist this same advice. I didn’t realize anyone else got that same advice. Thanks for sharing!
Jan 08, 2010
Great example of success law number six — your perseverance in the face of obstacles or ridicule.
(1) Having the right goal;
(2) Education, study, preparing oneself;
(3) Maintaining radiant health;
(4) Drive;
(5) Resourcefulness;
(6) Here it is – Laura’s Perseverance even in the face of obnoxious people!
(7) Contact with our Creator for His Blessings & Guidance (affects all the other six). From: http://prww.org/Library/7LawsOfSuccess.html
Jan 08, 2010
Hi Laura,
I certainly think there are some ridiculous people in the world. I am so glad that you had that reality check with Christine.
And I think I already told you this, but the MAIN reason I signed up for your Creating Fame program last year was because of your age. Being Gen Y, you have a completely different perspective than me. You basically grew up living and breathing the Internet and social media. And I was curious on your take.
I also watched your Walking Team “mock-umentary” and your “Suck the Money” video. You were doing things so playfully and having so much fun using video, that I was completely attracted to your style and approach.
Quite honestly, I don’t care if someone is 12 or 120. They could be a purple centaur for that matter. The bottom line is, if I think I can learn from a person and they are providing me a solution then I am on board.
Thanks for telling this story!
Best, Wendy
Wendy Maynard´s last blog ..Want to Know the ROI of Social Media?
Jan 08, 2010
Laura,
I remember coaching you through this ordeal! I am so so so proud of you, you have come so far in knowing who you are. Did I already say that I was proud of you? Cheers!
Jan 08, 2010
Love you, LKR. By the way, I think my voice is too high pitched also!
Jan 08, 2010
Wow, what a great story. Really inspiring,thank you. My biggest business fear has been, what do I do when I client actually wants to meet me? I don’t lie about myself, but I do hide behind the computer. I’m 63, disabled and obese. These things just aren’t attractive. So I do business by email and phone, creating websites and getting known by word of mouth. I want to expand but I keep getting stuck on the appearance factor. I’m working on the weight and health, but it’s my age that makes me feel the most out-of-sync with the people in my field.
Btw, speaking of voices, I was a radio announcer for 22 years. My voice is in the middle range, not high or low. What I learned is that to have the best voice FOR YOU, breathing properly is the key, not forcing it in any way. Breathe with your diaphragm, that was the mantra when I was learning, and it works. Helps you relax too, which always has a good effect on the voice.
Jan 08, 2010
Hi Laura. By definition, anyone who thinks that sales is about faking some part of you in order to deceive the person in front of you is either a liar or an idiot. That old-school method of falsifying reality to “make the sale” is quickly loosing its momentum in this hyperconnected world. Truth, honesty and being real is the key to success. I always say that telling the truth is a niche business.
You have what it takes to be very successful, don’t change anything more than just getting better at what you do.
Thanks for sharing!
Ramiro Ferrer´s last blog ..¿Todos Tienen Iguales Posibilidades?
Jan 08, 2010
Really positive video post. When you step back or go through those fears and realize life still exists and the sun did come up, it’s amazing. I have a draft right now about how I went through one of my biggest fears for my photography. I will probably leave the written word, but I just might try a video. You’ve given me a boost to try out another fear! Well, not really a fear but I just need to get used to it.
Keep rockin’
Scott Webb´s last blog ..Blog Critique: An Objective Look at Your Own Blog
Jan 08, 2010
Hi Laura,
Thank you for sharing this video, it was exactly what I needed to hear RIGHT NOW! I am starting a new business in an industry that is different than anything I have done before; as such, the learning curve has been overwhelming at times. I’m enjoying the journey but have been scared to take certain steps. Your video has convinced me to look that fear in the face, keep moving forward and take action regardless of what my fears or what other people have to say.
Thank you for being you and posting about such a personal demoralizing experience. You are awesome! You took a not so pleasant experience and turned it around to inspired others. In my mind, this is a beautiful thing!
Wishing you all the best and much success!
Patty
Jan 08, 2010
Laura,
weird as it may seem, I think this is truly one of the best things that could have happened to you. Had this so called “Coach” broken you down at that point, you would never have been able to face the many other hurdles that I’m sure you’ve faced along the way. But because you came through it even stronger than before, building your reputation on your video and speaking prowess only serves to reinforce the fact that all that was said was just jealous BS.
I must admit that I too am jealous of your accomplishments. Yet I would never try to bring you down. I only use it to inspire myself to be a better me. I never had my act together in my 20′s, no way I could have accomplished anything near what you have. Heck, I’m not sure I could even come close now. So congratulations to you for hangin’ tough, being true to YOU. And thanks for the great video.
Bryan
Jan 08, 2010
Laura,
I’ve always thought that your youth was one of your best features given the youth driven market of twitter. I’ve always naturally thought of your youth as your BIG ADVANTAGE!! I think you are the PERFECT person to be in that business because twitter is a new technology that younger people just seem to get quicker than others (myself included!).
Any “coach” should have recognized that with your market niche and your appearance (which is gorgeous and cute and perky) that you definitely have an advantage in the field. Not that twitter is only a youth phenomenon, but younger people may just catch on faster and be better at figuring out this stuff and as long as they have the ability to teach what they’ve learned to others, it’s a GOLDMINE for the right person…which is YOU! You go girl, don’t change. Yvonne
Jan 08, 2010
The first time I saw you on Ask Erin Live my first thought was “Wow, she looks so young!” However, your fabulous personality and professionalism shone through so I couldn’t help but be intrigued and fascinated by you. You and your business success are truly inspirational.
Bryan said exactly what I was thinking – no way could I have accomplished anything near what you have when I was in my 20′s. I look forward to seeing your accomplishments as you grow older.
Don’t change a thing about you!
Leslie
Jan 08, 2010
Laura -
Great story! You’ve actually incorportated the essence of my acting coaching philosophy – helping actors, performers and speakers discover and recognize their assets (the things that make them – them) and then honing those skills to such a degree, that nothing can stop them!
Thanks for sharing your inspirational story.
Keep bein’ YOU!
Chris
Acting Coach / Motivational Speaker
The Asset Construct
Jan 08, 2010
You’re videos are always a joy to watch. Everything you talk about and say is just an inspiration to me, and what I’ve been trying to do, but I’m not really doing right, or as well as I feel I should. I’m okay with that though.
It may have to do with my fear I have of failing at everything I do, among other reasons. I want to turn my website into a business, and it sort of has in a way but I make $0 from it. I also have no clue what I can offer to people that would be useful, and generate revenue. I fear I will fail at whatever end up doing though. Never know until you try I know.
Anyways, screw that old lady who sounds like she’s living in 1985. Since the year 2000, the internet has changed in such a way that it doesn’t matter who you are, you can do anything you want to if you are driven and motivated enough. I mean look at you now, Miss Im on the list of 12 successful online entrepreneurs of 2009. Good for you.
Jared´s last blog ..10 Essential Tools And Resources Every Designer Needs
Jan 08, 2010
Hey Laura, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. The funny part is that all of the stupid things that “coach” wanted you to correct, were the reasons I talked to you at that conference in Chicago. While just about everyone else in the meeting was going on and on about themselves in the same typical fashion, you stood out from the crowd.
PS: When you lowered your voice in the video, I laughed so hard. Way too funny!
Hope to see you in a few months, Katy and I are trying to figure out a date to come out to California.
Bill´s last blog ..5 Fresh Untraditional Decorating Ideas for the Holidays
Jan 09, 2010
Laura –
Your authentic approach to providing quality content to viewers/readers is exceptional. I just loved this one too! Your experience with the sales coach was relatable and your intentions in sharing it were to genuinely and effectively help others – unlike the sales coach tactics with you. I particularly appreciated when you made the point that even if your worst fears come true they should not hold you back. To me, the fundamentals of your work is selling confidence – confidence with learning something new, with taking risks and putting yourself out there; and with not letting anything or anyone hold you back. In my own business, as an online fashion consultant for professional women, I really strive to support others too – in my own way – at helping women look their best. So that they appear dynamic and consequently, feel more confident to fully engage in more important business endeavors – giving that presentation, making that deal, leading that company, etc.
Today, your video has really inspired me and made me feel even more confident with my business approach and message – that you don’t have to shame people into getting them to listen to you, that one persons opinion is just that – one person, and that even if your worst fear comes true you can and will survive and may actually feel empowered by the experience. Thank you so much! I find you to be absolutely inspirational – youth, voice and all. Authenticity is so refreshing! Keep up the great work, Laura.
Jan 09, 2010
Its interesting that her version of sales coaching was to try to make you look like everybody else, when most of selling is an effort to make you stand out. It takes a great bit of character to be brought to tears in an afternoon, and try again the very next day.
Jan 10, 2010
Your youth and energy are a delight to all of us, Laura. Thanks for sharing this life, rather than social media, lesson. Your openness and authenticity distinguish you from so many others. Keep it up.
Jan 10, 2010
Love your video…you should send it to that sales coach as a thank you.
kim´s last blog ..Eco(nomical) Upgrades that Sell
Jan 10, 2010
What a story Laura! It’s amazing how some people just underestimate you because of your looks or your age. They really need to know that some people can get there regardless of the looks and the age. Let’s keep on proving these older marketers wrong and show them that young people like us can get the job done too.
Static | ahnternet´s last blog ..5 Tips to Quickly Writing A Quality Post Part I
Jan 11, 2010
Wow. I SO remember that moment at eWomen!
And i’m happy i could be a voice of reason for you too.
From the perspective of someone whose music was trashed by the Washington Post (then, a year later, praised by the Washington Post, hello?), who has been rejected, reviewed and raged at by all kinds o’ people (and even one best-selling author/coach, who told me to give up my career and go get a job) … you are now proving what I tell everyone about ANYTHING in life.
NO ONE’S opinions can stop you unless you choose to believe them!
(thanks for the mention. made me waggy!)
Christine Kane´s last blog ..5 Large Lessons of 2009
Jan 11, 2010
Great video, Laura – you have GREAT energy and presence and I think you use your natural gifts and talents BRILLIANTLY – you serve as a wonderful example to us all. Sad that there are still people out there who purport to help others but who only focus on the negatives and the “what’s missing.” You are demonstrating a clear focus on possibility and abundance and, as one of the “older” members of your audience I aspire to your level of confidence and clarity of vision. Keep the great stuff coming!!!
Jan 11, 2010
What a great story. And inspiring on so many levels, not just in business.
Cindy Peterson´s last blog ..Happy New Year!