February 2, 2012
Guest post by Ane Axford
I am a psychotherapist who specializes in supporting people who have the genetic trait of high sensitivity in thriving and leading.
You: “Genetic? High sensitivity is genetic? And what do you mean by sensitive? Like emotionally? Or, with noise or lighting or food?”
Me: “Yes. All of it.”
About 20% of the population has a more highly sensitive nervous system that is literally picking up on more. This creates a whole different way of living for that 20% that is often COMPLETELY and ENTIRELY the opposite of the dominant culture.
Lots of entrepreneurs and small business owners are highly sensitive and know that they can’t work for anyone else because of their unlimited and ever-changing self and/or they are artists and innovators and have their own creations to sell or share that aren’t already on the marketplace. They very quickly learn that they need to figure out marketing in order to be successful on their own, and that means being online. I am one of those highly sensitive entrepreneurs as well as a small biz owner. I knew there was a lot that I didn’t know about online marketing and I was instantly overwhelmed! My sensitive body was picking up on all the things I needed to do and went into immediate shutdown. That was before I got the smackdown from Laura Roeder herself in a mastery program we did together. You can see an interview she and I recently did together about tech overwhelm here.
Maybe you can relate to me. With these sensitive bodies, us highly sensitive people are naturally externally focused due to all the stimulation we feel coming at us from outside all the time. One implication is that we naturally have a very large and expansive, complete and powerful view. This is why we got into running our own business in the first place and this is really valuable. This view is also what can be overwhelming if it is not also paired with physical reality and our physical desires. In simple terms, being online can create instant overwhelm if you don’t let yourself take it one step at a time in a way that works for YOU. If you try to work for IT, you will burn out mentally, physically, and emotionally.
In my work with sensitive people on this, I have developed a model called Sensitive Leadership where you work with your sensitivity to lead your life. It is based on my theory of The Highly Sensitive Hierarchy of Needs, which comes from Maslow’s theory.
Rather than going from the bottom up, we go from the top down:
If you are highly sensitive, you will not do well trying to start out with an arbitrary plan that someone else told you to do, comparing your self to what someone else has done, or setting up a plan before you understand why you are doing it. Instead, you can use whatever sensations you are feeling to get more of what you want. It’s all valuable and useful information. Even overwhelm.
So, what does this all actually mean for you when you are feeling overwhelmed with all the little pieces and moving parts of your business, being online, marketing, newsletters, Facebook, Twitter……AAAAAAH!
First, breathe.
Start with the most subtle sensation, whatever it is, and bring it down to a more dense practical reality:
1. Transcendent :: What you sense now in literal terms (tingling, buzzing, fluttering, cold, hot, tight, heavy, light), and keep breathing with it.
2. Self-Actualization :: What is here now, that you are here now (I am here in this room with this stuff right now and this is what is factually here/going on).
3. Aesthetic :: What experience you desire or what would feel better, what would feel beautiful to you (my example: right now I want to feel support).
4. Cognitive :: What you know (when I imagine the feeling of support I get an image of having someone to talk to consistently about my business).
5. Esteem :: What you can do (at least 10 possibilities of things you can do to feel supported this way).
6. Love + Belonging :: What you actually do (choose one of your options: I set up an accountability buddy each week to help me accomplish one main goal for the week and feel connection with another business owner like me).
7. Safety :: What you trust (establish the rules for how it will work, create the boundaries: I trust that doing this weekly at the same time over the course of a couple months and then a year can support me in having a recordable history of my accomplishments and someone else who knows these accomplishments who can remind me how awesome I am and support me where I am each week).
8. Physiological :: Commit and do it! Now you have or are on your way to having what you want in the physical world. YES!!
Having the trait of sensory sensitivity means that you can be a natural leader and that you can naturally get what you want when you let yourself follow your desires all the way to a physical reality that works for you. The physical outcome is the natural result of following your desire. So many of us get stuck spinning in analysis paralysis about our sensations and we never bring them to fruition. We expect that we will work like many others and we try to force ourselves into plans that we don’t really want or understand. Instead of that, use your sensation to bring it to a physical reality.
If you want to learn more about this and see some really helpful free videos, check out my Sensitive Leadership model at www.BeyondThriving.com.
Self-described as a highly sensitive person, Ane Axford of www.SensitiveandThriving.com is also high sensation seeking, introverted, a licensed mental health and relationship therapist who specializes in working with highly sensitive persons.
Ane has a Bachelor of Science degree in Family and Human Development and Psychology, a Master of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, a Marriage and Family Therapy license (LMFT) in New York State, over 450 hours in clinical hypnotherapy training and a Clinical Hypnosis certification.
She has facilitated individual, relational, and group therapy for over 6 years as well as many workshops, training, coaching, consulting, and classes.
You can also connect with Ane on Facebook + Twitter
February 1, 2012
Laura Roeder will be asking HootSuite founder Ryan Holmes:
- Can you outsource social media?
- Can you schedule in advance or does it have to be live?
- What trends is HootSuite seeing in effective social media campaigns?
- What is their secret for growing so fast, and how did they get their tool to “go viral”?
Wednesday, Feb 8 at 1 pm PST / 4 pm EST / 9 pm GST
January 30, 2012
Guest post Adeah Wetzel
Are you participating with your friends, followers and likes on social media?
Okay, I hear the mumbling…”What do I share? Who cares if I am at the car-wash?”
Right. I get that a lot.
Try using these 10 talk worthy topics on social media (1-2 posts per day for 30 days) and I promise your perspective will be different…So will your business.
What to say on social media- 10 talk worthy topics
1. Things you treasure- Think about things that light your fire! It doesn’t matter how big or small , it seems people love these insider warm-fuzzies. So what is it for you? Mine are spiritual and personal growth, yummy foods, and funny things my kids say.
2. Things that inspire you- Where do you go to affirm your greatness? Art? Songs? Favorite author? Mine include the ocean, women who are living their passion and chocolate.
3. Tools you often use- Stop and consider what items are you using throughout your day. Ergonomic chair? Astronaut pen? Vitamixer? Tell people how they bring value into your life/business/family. My top tools- headset for calls, Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap, ipod touch and pandora.com.
4. Bragging Rights- Share your accomplishments in your business. Did you help a client face her fear of asking for a raise? Tell people! Is your schedule booked with clients for the next 2 months? Brag about it! You get the idea, right?
5. Other peoples’ stuff- What e-newsletter do you always read? What blogs are you subscribed to? What events/products are your peers producing? What website offers great content for your community?
6. You couldn’t stop laughing because… Funny things (not at the expense of others of course!) are wonderful to share. Search on Youtube.com for a funny video or find a photo that cracks you up. Here is a great example: 
7. Ask questions- Get curious about your community. What are their thoughts about current affairs? What are they doing this weekend? How do they manage family and work life? What books are on their nightstands or Kindles? What cures a bad day? It doesn’t have to be about your work. Focus on getting to know who you are connected with on your social media profiles.
8. Witty musings- You know those strange and lovely things that happen to us in life? One morning I found a worm in my coffee and shared about it. These moments show your human side and give others a chance to connect on a common trait…being human.
9. Places or products- Where did you get your haircut? What is your favorite “I’m not cooking tonight” restaurant? Did your insurance agent go above and beyond? Did your cell phone company correct an error they made (what that could happen!)? Sharing your interactions with other businesses is a simple and lovely way to build community.
10. Promote your stuff!- Important to note this is #10 of 10 but it is still on the list. Earning a profit from your business is important, so share your goods too! Pull up those old blog posts from last year. Take quotes from your book. Tell people about your next event or you’re open for one more coaching client or your speaking on the local radio station as an expert in your field. Share about the services you offer in a balance with the other 9 items on this list.
The point is to nurture a connection with like-hearted people who will love being with you & your business just because of you! Remember to key into the emotions (human factor) of what you are sharing.
Adeah Wetzel brings her finely tuned sense of human behaviors, thoughts, and motivations into her true love affair with relationship marketing- the ultimate way to bring like-minded people from across the globe into your business.
Does marketing feel like flossing? You know it would be a good habit for your business but you keep forgetting to do it! That’s why Adeah created The Reach Kit – a set-up and go system with hands-on support to habituate your marketing. Learn more at www.wholeheartedsocialmedia.com/ReachKit
January 26, 2012
Guest post by Hillary Rubin
Have you ever modeled something that worked for someone else, but then it didn’t work AT ALL for you? You were given a swipe file, promised results, got so excited and then it flopped?
Well, I did…and I ‘effed up big time.
It was the end of the year. I wanted to give my peeps a deal for the holidays, for my Living Wellness Kickstart program, and a bonus to my ICM private library. It was a great deal stuffed with value.
“Okay… so how did you eff up?”
Picture this: a friend had told me about a shiny, new info marketing promotion. 1-2-3-4 emails, say this, do that, tell them this and bingo! You help them out and get your cash.
You know the ones I am talking about. You worked so hard, and did everything they told you… Turns out, it’s just starting to look like another over-promising and under-performing gimmick. Lesson learned.
My followers aren’t so ‘techy’, and they feel totally grossed out if my voice is anything but authentic. They’ll hit that ‘unsubscribe’ button like it’s going out of style. And, in my haste, I ignored it. (First mistake.)
This is where I eff’d up. You’ve been there too, I know you have, and I want you to know that there’s no shame in failure — entrepreneurship has a massive learning curve. Knowing your business, who you’re talking to and how you’re talking to them is golden.
Yes, thank you. May I have another shiny new thing?
We loaded the emails and made the site changes… I was excited. My list had just increased after a couple of teleseminars, so I felt like I was on the right track.
Then the first email blast went. People jumped off my mailing list like it had burst into flames. There were only four sales…and to make it even better, I got a few hate emails.
Time to get radically honest.
Whoa! I had to step back and ask: “What would I have done if I’d gotten those emails from someone else?” I had most definitely brought the wrong vibe to my peeps… but I would find a way to fix it.
You know what I’m talking about here: that moment where you have to pick yourself up from a puddle of disappointment and stop beating yourself up.
Are you guilty of any of this? Can you relate? I see you nodding your head.
How you can save your list and not eff’ up:
1. Don’t just copy stuff to use for your list. Sit with it. Put yourself in their shoes. What are they expecting from you? Is this message in alignment with your brand, message and type of business? Be honest.
2. Own your missteps and be real about it with your peeps. Let them know what happened. Learn your lessons, experiment, and be willing to succeed by not losing yourself. Be honest with them. Get vulnerable. Fail fast, and let it be a failure instead of a mistake (as the brilliant Seth Godin says).
3. Let your contractors, VA’s and anyone who works with you have permission to tell you what they feel. Invite them in to share. Don’t assume they will just tell you. If they feel comfortable speaking up, this will help them stay 100% focused on your biz success.
Last tip and most important. Be willing to laugh it up, and be cynical about that next shiny new thing. By communicating with your list in your own voice, you’ll get loving fans that will feel closer to you when you bare your soul.
When I sent out my post ‘eff up email I went deep… I got a slew of emails in my inbox with such sweet notes and then I got some others who wanted to speak their truth. Best part is, I found a new commitment to my list, not wavering or comprising my soul. You can take a peek here into what your soul wants you to know, so you don’t get snagged by the shiny new things outside yourself.
Curious about the email I sent to my list after the debacle? You can read it right here:
Hey,
Today is a pretty emotional day for me. It’s the 20th
anniversary of my mother’s passing and we’re headed
to New Orleans for the weekend to get pampered.
Before I go, I REALized I need to get radically honest and
real with you or over the weekend I would not feel 100%.
From time to time I like to experiment and sometimes
I Eff’ Up and need you to call me on my Sh*t.
Deal?
Because I care what you think + feel if you EVER feel
that that an email, blog post or something I do it gross,
icky or makes you feel like WTF then let me know immediately.
Just hit reply, email me and pour your heart out!
Always know I am dedicated to give you the best I can that is
why I share my bare ass truth and ask you to do the same.
xxoo,
Hillary
Hillary Rubin, spiritual lifestyle design coach, entrepreneur, and wellness pioneer who coaches women around the world to shed fear and become undeniable in their life and business. Check out her newest program, Your Souls University, HERE. She has been featured on Fit TV, in The Los Angeles Times, The Independent, Yoga Journal and contributes to the Huffington Post and Origin magazine. Hillary is also writing her first book with the forward by Agape Founder Michael Bernard Beckwith.
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